...But I Play One On TV!

Oh, this is too good to leave alone. From Newsweek:

Dec. 26, 2005 - Jan 2, 2006 issue - Jake Gyllenhaal is Hollywood's sexiest man—despite what the editors at People say. The actor took a break from his heartthrob duties to speak with Ramin Setoodeh.

In "Jarhead," you played a Marine. Is it time for us to get out of Iraq?
Honestly, I'm feeling more like maybe we should.

Am I the only one who sees a nonsequitur here?

Let's just continue this interview along these lines, shall we?

Agenda-Advancing Journalist: In "Brokeback Mountain" you play a gay sheep-rancher. Do you feel that sheep ranching is exploitative and causes undue harm to sheep?

Jake Gyllenhaal: Oh, absolutely. No one asks the sheep for permission to rip off all their hair every Spring.

AAJ: In "The Day After Tomorrow" you play a scientist's estranged son. Should more sons consider being estranged from their fathers?

JG: I believe so, since global warming is caused by our fathers, and it's, like, going to be our mess to clean up. So yeah. I think estrangement is a good place to start.

AAJ: In "Bubble Boy" you play a boy born without an immune system. Do you think President Bush should be immune from all the trouble he's caused in the world?

JG: Absolutely not. Though it's obviously the reason why he lives in a bubble.

AAJ: In "October Sky" you play a kid who gains an interest in rocketry after the Russian launch of Sputnik. Do you think Bush's announced plan to take us to Mars is ill-conceived.

JG: No, I happen to agree with him on this one. It will require rockets.

AAJ: Okay, one final question. You played Billy Crystal's son in "City Slickers." Do you think Billy Crystal was a bad choice to host the Oscars?

JG: Okay, I've got to put my foot down here. Just because I played a guy's son for maybe ten minutes of the whole darn movie doesn't make me an expert on him, okay? I mean really! I was a kid then, anyway. But I'm older now, and much more qualified to render judgement on world issues based on playing a vaguely associated role in a movie written by some liberal-arts major cloistered in a California studio apartment who's entire world view is formed by CNN soundbites and last week's episode of "Law & Order."

AAJ: Okay. Thank you for your time.

JG: Hey, right back at you!