Speak Lies To Weakness

There's a phrase that has been overused to the point of Inigo-ism ("You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means!"): Speaking truth to power. Just what does that mean, exactly? And how does one know it's the truth, anyhow? But because I want to be hip and part of the counter-culture, I'm going to send the following letter to my senator. I'm pretty sure this is the right direction, as usually that phase is used in context of dealing with the government. Anyway, I digress:

Dear Senator,

I want to be make a difference in the world. I want to speak truth to power. In that vein, I have the following to say to you, oh powerful one:

- I don't know even 10% of what is going on in Iraq.
- I haven't a clue about the intricacies of the UAE Ports deal, or how trustworthy anyone from the UAE is.
- I didn't vote in the last library bond election.
- I have a scar on my upper left arm.
- I have never had a piercing.
- I did, however, accidently stab myself in the throat with a pair of scissors once.
- The current administration are all a bunch of human beings who are neither as good or as evil as most people make them out to be.
- It is unknown how many planets are in our solar system currently, as there is considerable debate as to what constitutes a "planet."
- I do not own a dog.
- I just ate several peanut-butter chip chocolate cookies.
- They were good, or rather, I found them to be good.
- If I had more I would eat them too.
- Spying on Americans is wrong, except when it isn't.
- Spying on foreign citizens on US soil who may have connections to groups devoted to killing US Citizens is probably a good idea.
- Unless you are a foreign citizen on US soil who may have connections to groups devoted to killing US citizens.
- I actually can't verify the veracity of the previous two statements, but they sound like truth. I know. It's not the same thing. It also sounds true to me that I should be in charge of everything.
- I have a copy of "The Lord of the Rings" in Finnish.
- The whole "Cheney Shoot Friend" incident could have been handled better.
- Even if it had, the press would still have had a field day over it.
- The press are better at telling other people the right thing to do than they are at doing the right thing.
- Homer Simpson is a fictional character.
- I know less about foreign policy than I do about Bablyon 5.
- I still haven't filed my taxes.
- Speaking truth to power takes a long time, and I find it boring.
- It no longer requires an apple a day to keep the doctor away. They no longer make housecalls.

Thank you for listening,

Your constituent.