Let me just start with a disclaimer that I don't watch the Super Bowl. So if any of the following commercials are leftovers from that, oh well. I wouldn't know.
That said, I will not be sad to see an end of Olmpic commercials. Most of them are getting just a little old about now. So of course that means review time!
I do not want to make friends with my "fast," thank you.
Boo to Volkswagen and its series of commercials in which supposedly normal men are mentally controlled by a plastic figurine with an evil voice that resembles a Pokemon reject with glowing eyes. So your cars are turbocharged. Whoop-de-blippin' doo. I'd never notice while stuck in traffic on Emerald anyhow. And your sinister little Id-ling may actually be a turn-off. I know my wife hates it. And I for one wouldn't want to drive a Volkswagen if it means I've got to take orders from a Happy Meal prize from Hades.
Fine, but I'm still not going to let him jump on the bed.
A local insurance company has some rather cute commercials showing little kids doing little-kid things like jumping up and down on the bed, rocking forward in their shoes, pushing their wagon back and forth--and then switching over to show how each of those things translates into an Olympic sport. The intent is to show that our lovely little-un's could one day become world-class atheletes--and they're there to help with the money issues. It's cute the first time or two. It hasn't been cute since...oh, last monday.
I know it's beer, but...it's SOOO CUTE!
They have other commercials as well, but Budweiser has a series of commercials showing a clydesdale colt yearning to be all grown up and pulling the famous wagon as one of the famous team of horses. The absolute cutest one is where the colt sneaks into the barn and sees the wagon all set up and ready to go, including a harness. Sneaking a look around, he puts his head in the harness, then takes a practice pull just for fun.
The wagon moves, and the colt is surprised that he's actually big enough to move it. Growing more confident, he pulls some more and succeeds in pulling the wagon out of the barn. As the wagon passes across the screen we see two adult clydesdales (we assume it's momma and pappa) quietly pushing the wagon with their noses from behind. As the proud colt, unaware he is getting help, continues pulling the wagon across the farmyard, we see the farmer and his dog leaning against the part observing the entire scene. He looks down at the dog and says, "I won't tell if you don't."
Baby horses with oversized hooves. Take my word for it, it's cute.
They win, you win, but only if Coke wins
Coke has a bizarre series of commercials where a bunch of sports fans are (I assume) rehearse a bunch of customized cheers for specific Olympic events. The idea is that when our athletes win a medal, Coke customers win a prize. Therefore these guys are taking it very, very seriously that they should cheer on the Home Team. Way too much effort for a free can of Coke (they're very careful not to even hint at what the prizes might be). Way too annoying to want to watch more than once.
Speaking of revolutions, where's my torch and pitchfork?
Chevy is a major sponsor. Goodie for them. Enough commercials. The only cute one is where a family of prairie dogs check out the interior of a Suburban, and like it so much that they drop it into their colony. The prairie dogs are cute. For the first couple of times.
There is another commercial where a large family in a Suburban stare incredulously at a family passing by that requires three cars to hold the same number of people (the dog gets his own car. Har har, funny funny). There's an empty boat trailer following behind, sparking madly. I guess that's because small cars don't tow trailers? I dunno. It makes no sense to me. Please go away.
Even worse is the one where three superfans (shirtless, painted up so that the three of them spell USA) lose one of their trio into an icy pond. They pull him out, frozen stiff, and decide they need the "S" more than he needs to receive medical care. They haul him around, Weekend At Bernie's style, from event to event and prop him up between them. Some attractive women think the frozen guy is cute. They accidentally knock him over into the bobsled track where he slides to the bottom.
Woo.
Please go away. It wasn't funny the first time.
Last but not least
McDonalds is getting wierder and wierder. The "I'm Lovin' It" appeal to the black population is fine. But what's with the series of commercials with people sitting on a bench next to a Ronald McDonald statue. One guy with red hair and similar clothes feels oddly compelled to mimic Ronald's positioning. A girl pours out her soul to the statue, then seems disappointed that he doesn't answer her request for advice. I just don't get it. How does this make me want to buy more semi-dangerous food?
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3 comments:
I haven't seen most of the commercials you mention, but that may be because I'm married to a channel surfter who goes surfing during commercial breaks.
I agree that the McDonalds commercials are super lame. Give us credit for some intelligence, folks.
Topping my current "it wasn't even good the first time" list is the camera phone commercial by some cellular company. Since I don't remember which cellular company, it obviously did not have the desired impact on me. For some reason an entire stadium full of people holding up their cell phones to take a picture of the runner bringing in the Olympic torch doesn't inspire me. How about putting down the phone and just enjoying the moment? All the folks back at home are probably getting a much better view on television anyway.
I've found that it's really easy to get so busy taking pictures or video of an event that you miss the actual event itself. It's probably a good thing that we don't have very many pictures of last Christmas. That means we were actually "there", not just making a movie.
It's actually a commercial for a phone maker, I believe, but I agree. They're also exaggerating greatly by suggesting that those video-phones will get anywhere close to as good a picture as they show on the phone. At best the person on the other end might see a grainy speck of light in a grainy see of varying dark colors. And that's assuming they're even pointing the camera in the right direction--something rather hard to do while holding it above your head.
But I suppose I'm being too technical.
The Budweiser commercial also appeared in the Super Bowl.
You want to get tired of commercials? Watch Fox Soccer Channel. They have a half dozen advertisers, each of which only have one commercial in the rotation.
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