Fumbling Toward Employment

It's not been nearly a month since I was laid off. In some ways it's been a very encouraging month. I've had more interviews in a month than I had in five months last time. I'm at least attracting attention. Five years have made a difference in my marketability, evidently.

On the other hand, it's hard to know what to plan for. If it's going to be difficult to find a job, then I might be better off exploring some of my self-employment options and lining up some volunteer work. But if there really is something out there just around the corner, then perhaps I should be devoting more time to my job hunt.

Then, of course, there's the outplacement service paid for by my previous employer. They have a very specific program the recommend that they assure us can make a huge difference in our job hunting. But to do everything they recommend could take several weeks just in preparations. That's a lot of time that could be invested elsewhere.

Of course I can work a little at each option, but is that going to be effective?

I can feel myself slipping into paralysis by analysis. Part of me would really like to run away for a few days and just sit on top of a mountain and think for a few days. If I were single and with no kids and had this much savings I know what I'd do in an instant.

But it's not that simple. I have people depending on me. It's both a positive and a negative. They keep me motivated to keep working at...something. But they also keep me from taking any significant risks.

In the mean time I feel like I'm being nibbled to death by cats...or is it ducks? Gah, Babylon 5 has screwed me up forever. We've got a tree--the only remaining tree in our back yard--that is looking sickly. So we've got someone coming tomorrow to examine it. There goes my morning and a week's worth of grocery money. My den is a mess, so I reorganized it and found a bunch of things that can be stored away in the garage. But before I can store things in the garage I need to organize the garage. Before I can organize the garage I need decent weather that won't soak everything I have to put out in the driveway temporarily. And on and on.

So with all of this I probably sound pretty down. I'm not...not entirely. I know somehow this is all going to work out, and probably for the better. It's just that in-between part that I'm not so good at.

Do you know what I miss most about my old job right now? My teleconferencing headphones. They had some really good sound quality and didn't leak a lot of noise. I've got nothing even remotely comparable at home. If I did I think I'd put on some Billy Joel (Best of, Disc 2) and have a good "blue funk" session and get all of this restlessness and frustration out of my system.

Of course knowing me I'd probably start singing along too loudly and wake up the boys. See, I'm determined to be in a downer mood tonight. Don't mind me. I'm tired. I'll be fine in the morning.