Monday, November 28, 2005

We're Off To Flee The Blizzard!

I took my two older kids and went to visit my folks for the weekend. While we were there it dumped about twelve inches of snow in twenty-four hours. The next day there were three-foot drifts around my car. The kids were excited, of course. I don't think they've ever seen that much snow.

The weather forced significant changes to our plans, but we had a good time. Since the last time I was home one niece had a baby and two others got married. I was able to meet all the newcomers to the family, at least. They seem like they fit right in.

Of course, as seems typical of these family gatherings, regardless of how long we spend, I didn't really get to talk to anyone for very long. But we put in an appearance, which I think meant a lot to my folks. Like I said, it's been awhile since we were on that side of the state.

It really hit me this weekend that the family is changing, and not all of it is good. If we're not careful we run the same risk as my parents' families. They feel connection to their brothers and sisters, but we kids, with few exceptions, failed to connect with our uncles, aunts, or cousins. If I were to go to a family reunion right now it would be more to make my parents happy than because I want to see anyone.

That's going to happen to our family. My parents aren't going to be around forever, and unless we kids put forth more effort to hold the family together the cousins are going to grow up with little concern for each other. It's not going to be easy, as is. The way things have worked out there is little overlap. My oldest sister got a good head start on the rest of us in having kids. My brother's group overlaps with several of her younger ones. My kids fit mostly into the gap between grandkids and great-grandkids. And as it is, I'm closer in age to my oldest neice than my two oldest sisters.

We've got our work cut out for us. My wife's family is a long distance away and not very large. My family is drifting apart. If I don't do something my kids will grow up with mostly each other. Perhaps that's not such a big deal, but I suspect the more the extended family breaks down, the more pressure there will be on the immediate family.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sound like an interesting weekend. I'm sorry we missed it, snowstorm and all.

As the only out-of-state member or the family, I tend to feel really isolated, and worry that our son will grow up not knowing any of his extended family very well, which would be very sad since he has a boy cousin just a few months older than him. His cousins on his father's side of the family live on the other side of the country, so he's not likely to know them much at all. It sounds like a rather lonely existence for an only child. Coming from a large family, I really feel badly that he's stuck with just his old parents to play with. I hope we'll be able to change that before he gets to be too old to connect with his extended family.