How not to make a sale

My business partner and I had a conference call from someone who had promised to show us some things that would improve our business. The presentation was light on details, heavy on sales pitch. We were okay with that.

But then he went into full "used-car salesman" mode. When we wouldn't commit to a sale right away he decided to do us a "favor" and go talk to his supervisor. Sure enough, he came back with a wonderful new offer about a third lower than the first one--if we acted right away. We were not about to act right away. We needed time to think about it.

But time was one thing he absolutely did not want to give us. Every time we would tell him we wanted to think about it he would keep countering with various reasons why we didn't need to. Some lovely gems:

- If we didn't like charging the amount to our credit cards he could always set us up a business account so it would be charged to the business. This, frankly, was an insult to our intelligence. Debt is debt, whether it is owed by us or by the company we own. If we aren't sure we can afford it on our personal credit cards we are not going to be any more able to afford it if we charge it to the business. It's real money, regardless of where we charge it.

- When we asked for a couple of days to think it over he initially agreed, but then countered by asking what could possibly change in two days? He added that all that was likely to happen in two days was that we'd talk ourselves out of it. I can't argue with that. He hadn't really made that strong of a case for his company's services. If he had, we'd still feel good about it after a couple of days.

The bottom line was that no matter what we said he wanted us to decided right then and there. People like that annoy me. They obviously do not have faith in their product. They do NOT want you to think about it, which is always a red flag to me that you should do plenty of thinking.

My partner was much nicer than I was. I gave up about 2/3rds of the way into the conversation and walked away. Had it been my phone I would have hung up on the guy. I don't have time for jerks like that. I've got plenty of fly-by-night shysters calling me now that I have a registered business. I don't have that much time to waste on them. I hope to never hear from that one again.

New Writing Gig: Examiner.com

Examiner.com is a Clarity Media Group venture that leverages local writers in 60 major markets across the US to provide local, expert content. I've applied and been accepted as the Boise Business Strategies Examiner.

My debut article can be found here. Most Boiseans are familiar with Metro Express Car Wash by now, but I look a little deeper into how they use their electronic sign as an entry point to get people into their online marketing.

So take a look if you like. I should be posting something every few days.

When Less is Really Less

I read an interesting post from Havi over at The Fluent Self about a situation that runs contrary to conventional wisdom.

She was waiting for a massage at her favorite business and discussing masseuses with the clerk when she found out that the employees there were offered free massages by the masseuses so that they could become accustomed to their work and be able to refer customers.

The clerk had yet to use his massage. He was saving it up for some time when he really needed it. Most of the clerks were doing the same.

So the writer asked them all what their response would be if the masseuses offered a massage for only $12. They all agreed that they'd sign up to get one that very day, because it was such a good deal.

It seems counterintuitive, but it's true. I know I've sat on several free things in case I needed them later. Sometimes "free" becomes too valuable to use just any old time.

How To Discourage Government Intervention

I'll give Obama this: his administration is quickly curing corporate America of its desire for public assistance. In the aftermath of the bank bailout and the auto industry bailout the lesson is quite plain: take government money and you'll never have control of your organization again.

What most of these companies probably didn't realize is that with government money comes government tactics. Reality, facts, and business acumen have nothing to do with government. Once public money is involved the government can at any time stir up public outrage over standard business practices and bludgeon you into submission.

The law has nothing to do with it. Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal recently admitted on Glenn Beck's television show, the AIG bonuses were not against the law. The closest he could get was "against public policy...and it is unsanctioned by law."

Get that? AIG should not have done what it did because it was not approved by law. Let's ignore the fact that, thanks to Sen. Dodd, it was approved by law. They are saying that the moment a company takes public funds it should not be allowed to do anything unless it is approved by law. In short, if you take taxpayer funds the government now controls you.

In fact, in asking GM CEO Waggoner to step down, President Obama is finally being honest. The only way he could be more honest about this is if he were to step into Waggoner's position himself. If you take federal funds you are now under government control and subject to the Administration's capriciousness. If Obama wants to show America he's tough, well, it sucks to be you. Because you're in the government now, and the government doesn't run on reality, but on the illusion of reality.

So let that be a lesson to corporate America. The ideal relationship between government and business can be best summarized by an exchange in the musical "Fiddler on the Roof" when someone asks the rabbi if there is a proper blessing for the czar. The rabbi replies "If course", and then demonstrates: "May God bless and keep the czar...far away from us!"

Motivation, Efficiency, and Corruption

Ben Stein raises some good points about the "excesses" displayed by leaders of various companies in America:

We all want efficiency and frugality. But banning highly productive means of travel such as private planes is simply misguided. We all want people to work. But keeping them from having face time at large gatherings with their colleagues -- in essence, keeping them from being well-informed -- is a step away from productivity. And kicking the towns that accommodate these meetings is just plain cruel.

I hadn't thought about it from that angle where the automakers were concerned, but making Wells Fargo cancel its Vegas retreat for its top loan officers struck me as heavy-handed--and clueless about how business works. Did anyone stop to consider how much money those being rewarded made for the company in proportion to how much was being spent on rewarding them?

While I'm sure that level of productivity has its own rewards, I'll bet the yearly Vegas trip was at least part of the movitation for a lot of them. Take that away, and chances are they're not going to work as hard next year. How does that help the bank? How does that help its investors? How does that help its depositors?

I'm willing to bet that the amount of money they would have spent on the retreat is less than 10% of the value of the loans these people wrote. And yet if they're 5% less motivated to perform next year? In a year when people are less motivated to take out loans? It could spell the difference between survival and bankruptcy.

Let's not forget that these people are the TOP money-makers. Not only do these people make money for the company, their example (and the subsequent rewards) also serve as a motivation for the other loan writers who didn't make the cut this year--but could next year if properly motivated. Cutting the rewards for the top loan-writers doesn't just demotivate them, but the entire company.

I'm against wasting taxpayer money as much as anyone. But micromanagement of bailed-out companies--by some of the most notoriously bad money-handlers in history--is not the way to economic recovery.

Such political witch-hunts are counterproductive. It also keeps attention away from the real perpetrators of this mess: the government. Every time we start figuring out who the real enemy is they simply point at Wall Street and yell "There's your enemy! Not me! They're wasting millions of dollars!"

And then they sit down to add billions more pork into the Stimulus Bill to help stimulate their next campaigns. And take retreats to Virginia and the Caribbean.