Cramming Cultural Cuisine

One person on my team at work lives in another city. He was in town this week, so we all went out to lunch together today. For whatever reason we ended up at an Indian restaurant. I've had Indian before, so I can't say I was surprised that it was good. More likely just surprised that I didn't learn my lesson last time not to eat so much. That's the trouble with buffets. I only tried most of the dishes, not all, but I'm still stuffed.

My ribs are still hurting, though not that much during the day. It just makes sleeping rather uncomfortable, as there are only about two positions that aren't painful. I don't really want to go see a doctor. We're still paying off my little adventure to the emergency room a couple months ago.

The weekend is nearly here. And then we get two very short workweeks next week, thanks to the Fourth of July falling in the middle of the week. So far the kids haven't asked if we can buy fireworks, but probably because no one in our subdivision has been lighting any off yet. Which is in itself amazing. The last neighborhood where we lived they'd start a couple weeks early.

I'm tired. It's been one of those weeks where, even though I've accomplished a fair deal, I still feel like I'm getting farther behind.

Two hours left to work today, and I'm struggling against the effects of a localized gravitational anomaly in the area of my eyelids.

Go Dogs Go!

Our group at work had a big meeting on Monday, followed by a "team-building" exercise at the local indoor go-cart track. The latter was not mandatory, but I decided to go anyway. And what did we learn? I'm the most cautious driver in our group. I wasn't surprised to see the various male managers blowing by me, but I was a bit surprised to find our female director was also a faster driver than me.

Not that I care. If my future with the company relies on my ability to screech a go cart around a track with as little braking as possible then I'm more than happy to move on to another company. I'm pleased that I was able to loosen up some and just go for it, however. My best lap time was 26.7 seconds, which was nearly five seconds slower than our crazed web design lead, but also ten seconds faster than my initial lap times. So I reckon for a rookie (and one who, by nature, is allergic to speed) I did okay.

Anyway, it was actually kind of fun--right up until I went to pull into pit row after the last lap. Someone coming up behind me lost control of their cart and T-boned me at full speed. Being a skinny person, there was extra side-to-side room in my seat that the seat-belt really couldn't help with. I got slammed into the side of my seat and bruised three or four ribs. My mobility is somewhat restricted, and I can only find one comfortable position to sleep in at night.

In spite of that I was able to finish the inside walls on the playhouse last night. Still, I'm looking forward to getting over my "racing injury." And I doubt I'll be going go-carting any time soon.

President For Life

My wife saw a small notice posted somewhere in our subdivision that our homeowners association was having elections today, but she didn't notice where. I couldn't find any trace of the sign, personally, but since I care about what happens in our neighborhood I decided to see if I could track it down. I found it mainly by whose cars were parked outside of whose house, and arrived ten minutes late.

I was just in time to be nominated and voted in as president. To be honest, I wasn't surprised, and was somewhat prepared for that eventuality. We have a small, vocal, but essentially chicken group of attendees at each meeting. They want someone to make sure that the CC&Rs are kept, but they don't want to be the one to have to deliver the message.

Fortunately they also nominated me a vice president who's a bit tougher-looking than I am (and drives a Harley), so I think we'll be all right. It'll largely be a thankless job, but there'll at least be ONE benefit: I don't have to ask anyone before I change anything on my property.

Mwah ha ha ha!!!!! The corruption begins!

Feelin' Snarky

My boys woke up too early again this morning, and in an effort to keep things at least mildly under control I put on some early-morning kids TV. In listening to the theme music as the singer extolled the virtues of a CGI kewpie-faced airplane I noticed repeated references to "magic" and "magical."

It seems that magic is a required element in kids programming, even if there is none. At least the only magic I noticed in the show was sparkles trailing from the airplane's wings. I guess it's easier to call it magic than have to explain condensation (or fuel leaks) to tots, but still. It's become such an overworked term that I'm getting kinda sick of it.

Like another stop-motion television series about a tank engine that will remain nameless. The place it occurs is billed as a "magical land where dreams come true." Except I've never seen any magic there, either. And your dreams only come true if they involve a bunch of talking trains that continually get into scrapes and personality conflicts.

Kids are no dummies. I'm pretty sure most kids are totally immune to "magic" these days. "Yeah dad, I know. The plane is magic. The trains are magic. This pencil is magic. Suzy's diapers are magic. Everything's magic."

Okay, perhaps the diapers are magic--the dark arts, to be sure.

"How Much Older Can I Get?"

Morgan Freeman offers some thoughts on aging gracefully and appreciating life...couched in golf terms.

Projectile Dieting

I've been putting on a little weight lately, but I'd have preferred to take it back off slowly. Instead I got stomach flu over the weekend, the same stuff my kids have been passing around for the last week. I'm still not entirely back up to snuff, as food still does not appeal at all, but at least I'm functional. And I've dropped five pounds. Uhm...yay?

Thanks But No Thanks!

It would seem that at least some people in Africa aren't so keen on foreign aid. I've taken enough college economics to see that he has a point. To quote Dr. McCoy, "Drilling holes in his head isn't the answer! The artery must be repaired!"

The Greatest Generation

Last night I got back to reading "Flags of Our Fathers," a book about the men in the famous "flag-raising on Iwo Jima" photo. I read about the battle for Tarawa, where we lost over 1000 men in three days. The American public was upset about the losses, and couldn't understand the point of sacrificing so much for a tiny little island.

It reminds me, of course, of the war we're in right now. Every single complaint applied to the War on Terror could be applied to World War II. Yet they continued the fight at a cost that makes the Iraq War look like playground fisticuffs.

I dare say that America today wouldn't have won WWII. That doesn't fill me with hope, considering that WWIII has already started.

Polar Bear Dung Destroys Planet!

One of my gripes about the Global Warming current (I'm not going to say debate, as that's no longer allowed) is that they focus entirely on greenhouse gasses causing everything. Another is that everything gets blamed on Global Warming, and hence, greenhouse gasses. The polar ice caps are melting? Blame CO2 emmissions!

Well, perhaps not. A new study indicates that dirty snow is contributing at least partly to the increasing temperatures worldwide and more significantly to warming at the poles. It's not encouraging, mind you, and it's no less a problem than whatever else is going on, but it just shows that if you oversimplify things and fail to do due scientific diligence you may end up with the mob all running in the wrong direction.

CO2 and particulate pollution are connected, I'm sure, but the differences could make quite a bit of difference.

Increased solar output, and now particulate pollution. Isn't it time we opened our minds again on Global Warming? Do we really know what we think we know?

Smattering of Elemental Strategy

(Why yes, I DO love the word "smattering." Why do you ask?)

Overheard:
Emma (to the cat): You are so sweet, Jynx!
Walter: I'm not Jynx!

Middle-East:
Michael Totten has a guest columnist on why we should worry about Iran.
Michael Yon rides with the Queen's Royal Lancers.
Michael Yon writes about the courage and intelligence of one of our commanders in Iraq.

What I'm Reading:
I just finished reading "The Psi Corps Trilogy" by J. Gregory Keyes, from an outline by J. Michael Straczynski. The series covers the early origins of the Psi Corps and details the rise of our favorite psi cop, Alfred Bester, from childhood to head of the Corps. The series is ultimately about Bester--the history is just to set the stage, really. This causes the book to be a bit choppy at times, and it skips over events you really wish it would have detailed.

For example, if you're hoping to find out the gory details of Lyta Alexander's bloody revenge on the Psi Corps, prepare to be disappointed. It's alluded to, but entirely skipped over.

Instead, what we have is a classic Straczynski B5 tale: It's all about choices. The book takes one of the most vile human beings and reminds you that he was just that--a human being. You find yourself almost cheering for Bester, even while he's giving you the creeps. You find yourself hoping that he can find redemption and happiness. What we get is a book that, while not exactly satisfying, fits very nicely within the B5 universe and the Straczynksi morality.

I'm glad I read it, even though I wish I hadn't needed to read the whole thing. But you do, and it's worth it.

Audio Book:
"Pattern Recognition" by William Gibson. I've already read this before, but it's a good story well told. It can be as haunting as the "footage" the story revolves around. It details the story of a free-lance "cool" hunter as she undertakes an international search for the creator of the mysterious but provacative "footage," short video segments that pop up on the internet from time to time and has gathered a devoted following.

The annoying beauty of this book, I think, is that not everything is there for a reason. While some things in the book are interconnected in a nearly impossible--yet somehow believable--manner, other things are just...there. There are loose edges, and the ending seems a bit too elysian, but there's something there that won't let you go until it's done.

Gibson has a gift for descriptive detail--not quite poetic like Ray Bradbury, but evocative and multi-leveled. I should probably buy this book someday so I can study the language. I could learn from Gibson.

Notable Quote:
"I suspect I have spent just about exactly as much time actually writing as the average person my age has spent watching television, and that, as much as anything, may be the real secret here" - William Gibson

Idiots Guide to Prophecy

I'm the GM for a D&D group I play with (which makes me a DM, not a GM, I know. So sue me. The game takes place above ground most of the time, so if you want to get technical, I'm really a Surface Master. So there!). As such, I've been developing a game world for the group to play in. In an attempt to round things out a bit more I've been developing some prophecies.

That's not easy task, really. Even without the decision to make each poetic in nature (and in different styles to denote different prophets) it's difficult to get the right balance of vagueness and near-universal applicability without making them meaningless altogether. There has to be enough there that the characters can actually believe they may be part of prophecy--and that the prophecy is helpful to choosing their actions--while leaving room to wiggle if they're really not.

After writing around ten of these I have to say I'm feeling an intense desire to write up one "anti-prophecy" just for fun. Something like:

"Lo, and Drea, Alcoraxis, Fevera, and Wedlin (but not Gaubin, who shall be dead by then) shall go forth to the town of Silverling. There they shall find a grumpy bartender, a genial serving girl, and a mysterious man in the corner, who, though claiming to be able to help them, shall pick their pockets and render no real information. The serving girl, however, if treated kindly and tipped well, will provide information about the location of the Talisman of Ascerotin which they seek, having been told once years ago by her father, god rest is his soul. They should avoid the stables, as a most unpleasant encounter involving a goat, three roosters, and lots of lice awaits them."

That would be fun, especially to see the reaction of the players upon receiving such specific information (especially Gaubin's player). They'd doubtlessly not trust it, and before long be begging for a more "traditional" prophecy. Especially after the lice.

Der Burgermeister

Several years ago I mounted a Mission Impossible-style infiltration of Burger King to steal the secret recipe for their veggie burgers (they've since changed suppliers, and the quality has dropped). It required great skill and a fair amount of luck, but I was able to walk away with their free nutritional information pamphlet which, thanks to the USDA, contains a list of ingredients.

What I didn't get is proportions, of course, so I've spent the last several years working on the recipe. Since each batch makes enough to keep us well stocked for about six months, it's taking awhile. To be honest, I don't know if my recipe even comes close to theirs now. I know the consistency is different. But it tastes pretty good.

Anyway, Memorial Day has become one of the two "Burger Days" when I whip up a batch of burgers. It takes me about 4 hours, but we wind up with about 14 meals worth. So yesterday I spent the afternoon in the kitchen chopping veggies, adding filler and "glue", and then cooking them up. The batch was proclaimed the best yet by my independent, impartial taste-tester (my wife), and since all the kids ate theirs as well I'm inclined to agree.

Last night I decided it was time to take my rather cryptic working notes and type them up into something a bit more workable. If anyone cares to give it a try, let me know. I'll gladly send you the recipe. Unfortunately I've never tried to make fewer than 40 patties, so it doesn't scale well to "let's try it for dinner some time."

Perhaps now I might try making soy cheese. Just kidding.

Russian Thuggery

I know, this is not the sort of stuff I usually get excited about, but this is different. I've been there. I know people there. They warned me several years ago that Russia would love nothing better than to get Estonia back.

So when the Estonians move a Soviet monument, they find themselves under widespread internet attack from Russia (via the Washington Post). Abnormally coordinated hackers? Russian Mafia? Russian Intelligence running field tests for cyberspace warfare? Does it really matter who? The fact is that someone can.

"These attacks were massive, well targeted and well organized," Jaak Aaviksoo, Estonia's minister of defense, said in an interview. They can't be viewed, he said, "as the spontaneous response of public discontent worldwide with the actions of the Estonian authorities" concerning the memorial. "Rather, we have to speak of organized attacks on basic modern infrastructures."

This next little bit is telling, not just for just how seriously this is being taken, but by whom:

The NATO alliance and the European Unionhave rushed information technology specialists to Estonia to observe and assist during the attacks, which have disrupted government e-mail and led financial institutions to shut down online banking.

I think we can expect to see more of this in years to come, and not just from Russia. And why don't I find the Russian response reassuring:

A Russian official who the Estonians say took part in the attacks said in an interview Friday that the assertion was groundless. "We know about the allegations, of course, and we checked our IP addresses," said Andrei Sosov, who works at the agency that handles information technology for the Russian government. His IP address was identified by the Estonians as having participated, according to documents obtained by The Washington Post.

"Our names and contact numbers are open resources. I am just saying that professional hackers could easily have used our IP addresses to spoil relations between Estonia and Russia."

Whether he's lying or telling the truth, the implications are still scary.

"The nature of the latest attacks is very different," said Linnar Viik, a government IT consultant, "and it's no longer a bunch of zombie computers, but things you can't buy from the black market," he said. "This is something that will be very deeply analyzed, because it's a new level of risk. In the 21st century, the understanding of a state is no longer only its territory and its airspace, but it's also its electronic infrastructure."

Or, to quote one of my all-time favorite movie characters, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Pauper of the Bride

Last week for our date night my wife and I watched "Father of the Bride". I think we estimated that the wedding in the movie cost at least $100,000. I figured that was an exaggeration (remember, this was 15 years ago).

But then I saw this article online. It claims the average wedding in the US costs about $27,000. The average. In the US we spend more on weddings than the GNP of Lithuania. I understand, however, that Japanese weddings leave us in the dust.

I've got about 13 years to save up. Perhaps I should offer my daughter $10k to elope.

Litterature

Iowahawk has envisioned what a James Lileks news story might look like in this amusing parody.

He also channels a few other more famous writers to fill out the other beats. Not suitable for the below PG-13 crowd.

Progress and Appreciation

The playhouse is finished. At least the structural part. I need to give all the exposed wood a shot of primer, at the very least. But the verdict is in. My four year old declared it (or at least the porch railing I added on Saturday) "Outstanding!"

I wish for just a moment I could see the whole thing through his eyes instead of my own, which only see all the parts I goofed up on. It's so easy to forget to see things not in terms of mistakes but in possibilities. After all, growing up we had a lean-to shack cobbled onto the side of the house that was crammed full of old stuff and cobwebs. You could barely even get the door open. But it was the absolute coolest place!

Responsibility kills the inner child, I think. Or at least sends it to its room. It's hard to enjoy a playhouse when you're the one who had to build the playhouse. It's hard to live in the moment when you're expected to always be thinking several moments ahead. To quote Barry Manilow, "Oh, for the fun of them when I was one of them."

Instead I get stuck thinking of preparing bedtime snacks and getting kids ready for church rather than giving myself over to a good laugh with my wife over a linguistic near-miss.

Speaking of my wife, I'll extend Mother's Day just a bit and mention just how much I appreciate her. She is completely committed to giving the best to her kids (which far too often includes me). She's an amazing woman who approaches everything with a style and grace of a Golden Age starlet. She's my Grace Kelly, Katherine Hepburn, Ingrid Bergman, and Donna Reed, all rolled into one--dresses like them, too!

One of the advantages of being a husband is that you tend to catch glimpses of your wife's "press." It sufficeth to say that the general consensus is that I married well. I wish I could say the same about her. To quote Alan Jackson, "Be patient...I'm a work in progress."

What a Gas!

'Tis Spring! A time when gas prices climb and people start circulating the "National Gas-Out" email. Yes, let's all stick it to the big oil companies by buying our gas on Wednesday instead of on Tuesday. If ever there was a sign that the American Education System is failing, it's this lovely email. There are so many holes in it I don't even know where to start.

Fortunately, I don't have to. Someone who gets paid to write did it for me. Read all the way to the end for some ideas that really WILL impact our oil demand, and hence gas prices.

The one thing that cracks me up about the email is the line about how in 1997 they did this and it worked. That was ten years ago. Are you telling me, if this is so effective, we can't find any more current data? That's as good as saying "Hey, I drank water from the other side of a glass and it cured my hiccups....once....ten years ago." Anecdotal evidence is not evidence. And doing the same thing over and expecting different results is one definition of insanity. If it hasn't worked in ten years, perhaps--just perhaps--it was a coincidence?

Except, according the writer's research, it didn't even work then.

Building Frustration

I'm getting really tired of building this playhouse. I spent most of the day yesterday building a dutch door and to shutters, none of which look very good, in my opinion. The good news is that the kids don't care how it looks. The dutch door is a hit.

As it stands, though, this thing is going to eat up my free time for at least another week. Meanwhile the list of other projects that need doing continues to pile up. I just took vacation, but I need more.

More Microsoft Wit/Wisdom

I found another, not so funny ad from Microsoft today. This one was on repelling alien invasions. The only one that stood out this time was: When the aliens land, tell them the squirrels are in charge and that we humans are their slaves. While they start trying to negotiate with the squirrels, run like heck.

Little does Microsoft know how close they come to the truth.

Dude On A Hot Asphalt Roof

I have a new respect for roofers. On Saturday I tried shingling the roof on the playhouse. It was only in the 70's or so, but the roof quickly became unbearable. If I left my leg in one spot too long it would start to burn. Then I realized the asphalt itself was starting to melt, an that if I didn't tread carefully I'd scuff up the shingles.

So I moved to the other side, hoping the different angle to the sun would help. It did. I was able to get most of that side done before it again became too hot to stay up there. Now I need to wait for a cool evening or next weekend before I can finish that particular job.

On the other hand, I must say the roof is looking quite nice--what I've got finished. It really add to the look of the playhouse. As long as you don't look at the window that isn't quite parallel with the roofline you'd almost think it was professionally done. And if you stand back to where you don't notice the other little goofs. And squint your eyes a bit. And don't look at any other straight lines nearby.

The show I was in is over now. I'm glad, as it was taking up a lot of time, but I am glad I did it, too. It was fun to get up on stage again. And hanging out in the wings waiting to go on. And hanging with the rest of the cast in the green room. Good times.

I really, really need a haircut now.

Our Hearts We Cannot Steel

I'm currently on vacation working on a playhouse (I may have mentioned this). Today I was working out back putting up roof trusses when I heard gunshots. At first I was puzzled--gunshots? Here? Not in our sleepy little metropolis. Then I heard the bugle.

You see, we live about half a block from a cemetary. I'd never heard it before today--perhaps the wind direction helped carry it our way or something--but they were holding a graveside service with military honors. I usually get choked up pretty easily over "Taps", but suddenly I was reliving my father's graveside service in January. There I was, on top of a ladder with a drill in one hand, crying.

I don't know where I get the idea that I'm somehow different from other people. When people tell me it takes time to get over losing a loved one they're right. It doesn't matter that we were expecting it, that it was a merciful passing, that we had our chance to say goodbye first. There's a hole there, and it's going to be there awhile. Perhaps it's not overtly impacting my life every day, but it's still there.

I think the hardest thing to come to terms with was that I never did say goodbye. Not the way I had wanted to, anyway. The last time we visited I said it to his face, but while I said the words, there was a lot behind them that didn't get said. I started a letter to him several times and never finished it.

And his last night, after the family had a prayer around his bed, Mom even requested that we take some time to say goodbye. I didn't. It was too easy not to. There were family around I hadn't seen in some time. There was Mom to worry about. There was my sister and her little boy to help out with. There were plenty of excuses. I just didn't get around to it. I was scared. Of what, I'm not sure.

I wish I had. I guess I should take some comfort in knowing that I said much of what I would have said during the blessing we gave him the night before he died. I should take comfort in knowing that I'll have a chance to tell him again someday. But the comfort isn't there.

So now I can only add my voice to all those who I used to ignore: Never leave things unsaid. If you have your chance to say goodbye, take it.

One Advantage of Women's Lib

I've observed an interesting phenomenon (doot-dooooo-dah-doo-doo) these past few days. You see, I'm not exactly a big, burly, manly-man type. I'm 5'7" and 130 lbs, and while I don't consider myself a wimp, I'm not tough. I'm fine with that.

So when I go to Home Depot and wrestle 4'x8' sheet lumber I have to take my time and use the laws of physics rather than the law of the jungle. I can get it done. It just takes me longer.

Anyway, I've made three trips to Home Depot in the last four days. Each time the only workers to offer me help are women. Never the men. I don't know what it is. Is it an unwritten rule in the Brotherhood of Brothers that we never embarass each other by offering help? Is it just that women are more apt to realize that sheet lumber is heavy and therefore assume someone would want help? Is it just that women are more observant about what is going on around them? I don't have the answer, but it would be interesting to know.

I mentioned this to one of the women who stopped to help me today, and she apologized profusely (it was not my intention to see someone fall on their sword over it). And she rounded up a guy to help me while I was on the way to the checkstand so I could get help loading it all in the van. Yeah, I could have done it myself. But I was in a hurry to get the van back before Terhi needed it. So it was well appreciated.

Standard Disclaimer: I have no problem with women working at Home Depot. I have no problem with women lifting heavy objects for me or helping me lift them. I'm pretty sure if they're working at Home Depot they know what they're getting in for. They're either just fine with the lifting or they'll get someone bigger to do it. And if I need help, I'll accept whatever help is offered.

Allow Me To Demonstrate

Our company sponsored two classes yesterday; one on CPR, and another on First Aid. I signed up for both. The CPR class was kind of fun, really. Serious stuff, but good to know. The afternoon class on first aid, however, was an adventure.

The teacher was a paramedic, and so he had lots of "example" pictures. I started feeling a little sick, so I put my head down on my knees, hoping it would pass. It didn't. I passed out. I came to with paramedics surrounding me. I become coherent quickly enough, but I still felt lousy. When I didn't bounce back as fast as I should have, and when I told them about my heart condition, they decided I needed a trip to the E.R.

I spent the next three hours in the hospital. Three tries to put in an IV, a series of bloodtests (they're always ordering a CBC on "ER"--I still don't know what it is, but I got one!), an EKG, two x-rays, an IV of saline, and oxygen therapy later they decided that the class pictures had triggered a vasovagal episode, compounded by mild dehydration, otherwise known as "I got squeamish and passed out." On the other hand, they ruled out complications from my heart condition, which I guess is good to know.

I'm still a bit weak and frail today. I was describing what happened to someone this morning and started getting dizzy again. I guess I've really got to watch it for awhile. The good news? If you stop breathing for any reason--I'm your man!

I really, really hope this ends our run of bad luck for awhile.

Tips for the Ninja-besieged Enterprise

I ran across a Microsoft add in a trade magazine today that made me giggle. Yes, I' m a geek, as ninjas make me giggle. Especially the thought of them besieging my enterprise. Some sample tips:

Avoid Ninjas in the first place
Ask yourself--why have Ninjas chosen your company? Did you do something to offend a powerful warlord? Is a competitor particularly nasty? Who would send Ninjas after you? Answer this question and you'll be ready for next time.

Use your whiteboard as a shield
Ninjas love throwing stars, known as shuriken. They are sharp, and pointy, and when thrown they stick in deep and hurt a lot. Grab the nearest whiteboard and use it as a shield when the shuriken throwing begins. Yes, it'll ruin the whiteboard, but you can explain later.

Use your phone (to call for help)
Ninjas are tought--deadly actually--and no one will judge if, at a point when all hope seems lost, you call for help. Calling in reinforcements from branch offices, even the warehouse crew, can make the difference when Ninjas attack.

Use office plants as weapons
Those dusty-looking palms around your office may look harmless, but you can wield them as formidable weapons. The fronds can be used as pokers; aim for the Ninja's sensitive spots. Cacti are particularly useful for the Ninja-besieged enterprise. Throw them, pot and all, like grenades.


In other news, at least three people have stopped to comment on my computer desktop today. It shows the painting my sister did of our uncle's ranch, and it's drawing lots of positive comments. Congrats, sis! You're getting noticed!

Putting the "Civil" in Civilization

Don Imus is getting what he deserves (fired for racial slurs uttered on the air). Let me be clear about that. What saddens me about this case is that it's so isolated. There should be plenty of others tossed out along with him. We are no longer a civil people. We call each other the most horrible things and call it free speech. Or comedy. Or entertainment.

I've no doubt in my mind that had he said those things about a team of white women no one would have batted an eye. I have no doubt that if those things had been said by someone on Saturday Night Live no one would have cared.

We shouldn't have people saying things like that about anyone! We shouldn't need censorship because people should be watching their own mouths. We've become a nation of potty-mouths, and we have entire career fields stumbling over one another in a headlong race into the gutter.

We should have a culture where people are well and truly shocked by such language. But in reality, the only result I see from this is all the other shock jocks deconstructing the incident: "Where did he go too far? Was it adding in 'ho?' Can I call someone a 'nappy-headed weasel' and get away with it? How about a 'nazi-headed ho?'" How long, do you think, before we have SNL comedy sketches where men dressed up as old, white biddies sit around and call each other 'nappy-headed hos'? (In a way, I hope they do, though I doubt it would have the effect is should.)

If it were up to Thumper's mother, America would be known as The Silent Nation.

I can't say that I'd mind that.

What They Don't Tell You

It's big news to tout Bush's low poll numbers. They usually leave out the fact that congress polls even lower. Even with the change in majority they're still only slightly improved over-all. Could it be that we're just sick to death of politics?

Treading The Boards

It's been a long time since I was in anything theatrical. Getting close to ten years, now that I think of it. That's changing, and I must admit it feels good. Our church is organized such that the local congregation is called a "ward," and a grouping of wards is called a "stake." The stake we're in now is big enough (thirteen wards--nearly twice that of most stakes) to take on some fairly ambitious cultural activities.

One of their traditions is to do a musical revue every year. Last year was "The Best of Disney." This year is "The Best of Broadway." I wasn't going to be involved, but someone in the ward choir I direct got an idea to do a scene from a musical he just discovered and invited me to join (it requires men, and lots of them). It actually fit my schedule without too much adjustment, so I agreed. We had our first rehearsal yesterday.

The musical is called "For the Glory," and is built around various perspectives on the American Civil War. Our scene is about both sides as they prepare for the first Battle of Bull Run, one of the first battles in the war. It's fairly powerful music--and pretty dang high--and I'm going to thoroughly enjoy it. I'd love to do theater again, but to everything there is a season. I don't think I can stay away forever.

Meet Thy Doom!

Over breakfast this morning my three-year-old son looked up at me and intoned menacingly "I am Dooooom!" Evidently my doom is a little brown-haired boy with green eyes and a goofy grin. Strange. I always thought it would be puppies.

It turns out he was just misquoting a Charlie Brown special. ("I'm doomed!")

We got the lawnmower back from repairs last night. The verdict: Water in the gas tank--and the oil pan. The mechanic was puzzled. I was not. My Doom has a toy lawnmower, and he has a bottle of water he uses for his gas. He was helping daddy. It's hard to be upset about it--in fact I won't even try. He's a good kid, and he was pretty worried about the lawnmower when it broke. He wanted to follow the repairman to see where he was taking it.

Speaking of the repairman, I highly recommend "Timberwolf Small Engine Repair" for all your small engine repair or service needs. He's honest--he could have told me it was ANYTHING and I'd have believed him, but instead he solved my problem for the cost of a servicing. He's thorough--he even cleaned the thing up so it looks brand new. And he picks up and delivers for free! Granted, there's probably only one regular reader of this blog that is likely to care, but still.

The List Continues

We're having a bit of a bad run of luck lately, it seems:
- The computer died, had to buy a new computer
- Windows Vista doesn't support Outlook from Office '97. Had to buy Office 2007 to get our email back (on the bright side, my current employer is a Microsoft Partner, so it only cost me $20, as long as I stay employed there)
- Major windstorm pounds city for three days. Our deck swing is tattered, and we lost shingles in three places (would have lost more if I hadn't climbed up on the roof with landscaping blocks to hold the rest down)
- All three kids get colds, two of them getting ear infections
- Lawnmower ran for two minutes, then died, never to start again
- Our whiteboard calendar suddenly crashed to the floor tonight (granted this is minor, and possibly a good sign that the trend is losing steam?), breaking the frame in three places

I can't wait to see what this week brings!

Incidentally, though I haven't had a chance to really use it yet (other than Outlook), Office 2007 sports a totally new interface paradigm, and I think I may really like it.

Still Alive...Old...Friend!

Life's been crazy lately, but I'm still alive. Not the least of my worries has been the death of our computer. The power supply went out, and being both proprietary and out of production it would have been expensive to fix. Adding in the potential for additional damage beyond the power supply and the fact that the computer was old and slow, it just became easier to justify getting a new one.

Which we've done, and are still putting together. For now I've got the basics reinstalled, and then I'll see what we actually need before I install anything else. Retrieving all our old files was tricky enough. The hard drive from the old computer wouldn't come out of the case--at least not with the tools I have--so I had to use a power and IDE cable from the new computer to cross-patch the old hard drive into the new machine. The setup resembled two cars giving a jump-start with too-short jumper cables.

Then I had to call in a professional to figure out how to keep the new computer from trying to boot up with the old hard drive. Thank goodness for professionals--you know, those friends you have that you never call unless you have computer problems, and yet they still consider you friends. In my case it's St. Darryl of ASAssi.

Anyway, the up-side is we now have a flatscreen monitor. And a free printer which I've yet to install. :-P The downside is that I've got about $300 in rebates to file for, and the list of requirements reads like a Hogwarts potions recipe. I was out in the garage last night cutting UPC's off the old boxes--which I'm glad I kept. Today I have to make photo copies of the sales receipt, which of course is too long for the copier, so I have to use the reducing option to make it all fit.

Of course they want to make it difficult for you. And of course they want to take as long as they can getting your money back to you (they say 8-10 weeks--even the US Gov't doesn't take that long!). I understand the business reasons. But it's still a pain in the butt.

In other news, my mother in law is here for a couple of weeks. And my mother is in the hospital.

Confessional

I'm one of those nuts who still doubts all the claims around global warming. And yes, I base much of this off of Michael Crichton's book "State of Fear." And under the relentless assault of media I've been slowly been coming to doubt what I remembered reading. Not that I am willing to take the plunge and become a true Believer in Global Warming, either.

Let me just step aside for a moment and go on the record saying I'm all for sensible measures for minimizing our impact on nature. Nature is complicated enough without our adding to its volatility. So I'm for pollution controls, recycling, reducing waste and reliance on oil, etc. So long as it's done fairly and sensibly.

Now then, back to the science. Orson Scott Card published an essay citing evidence that the "Hockey Stick Report" that much of the Global Warming crowd accepts as the basic tenet of their faith is actually faulty, if not fraudulent. He cites some references, but unfortunately they're from books that will cost you money.

On the other hand, I have found a few articles lately that, if not disproving CO2 as the primary cause of global warming, at least cast doubt on it being the only cause. It seems Mars is experiencing global warming, too. And all our Mars explorers are solar powered, so you can't blame that one on us:

An article on MSNBC Online, which references an article in
National Geographic, as well as another related article on
Livescience.com.

Add to that the fact that a few scientists are coming forward to challenge Al Gore's claims (though most say he exaggerates, not is outright wrong) , and I'm feeling a little more confident in saying "Wait a second, are we getting ahead of ourselves a little here? Do we really know what's going on, or are we guessing, or worse, twisting data to suit our own ideals? Is it really as bad as all that, or are we just trying to scare people into doing something that, while not necessarily bad, may not be for pure motives?"

So yeah, let's see if we can't do some real science first and make sure we know what we're talking about before we all jump on the bandwagon, eh?

Smart As An Eight-Year-Old

The New York Times has an article about an eight-year-old genius and the math quiz he took to identify him as such. I got them all right, though the 5th question took me awhile to wrap my brain around it.

Actually, it's not clear if I got them all right. Question 6 he identifies as not being possible, which I didn't catch.

Still, I did much better than I anticipated. And I did it while recovering from a migraine. Try THAT, genius boy!

Lileksian Juxtaposition

I was reminded yet again why I read James Lileks' blog. He has a gift for jarring, anti-contextual, yet completely sensible extrapolations. In today's entry he was describing being outside at 10 pm shoveling snow when some pedestrians walk by and say hello:

...and then the guy said "hey, you're James Lileks." That's always nice to hear from strangers, unless of course they're assassins. Turned out they weren't.

First smile I cracked in far too long.

Stomach Bug Redux

Wednesday night I was feeling a little achy. Thursday morning I was feeling a little uneasy in the stomach, but not bad enough to stay home from work. By the time I was halfway down the street from our house, though, the stomach cramps hit. I wisely turned around and went home. Two hours later I was locked in the throes of major stomach flu.

I'm feeling mostly better today, though my stomach still yells "Whoa! Whoa! Careful there!" anytime I even think of grabbing some food. Cream of Wheat, a bagel, and a banana are about all I've managed to eat today.

I had this same stuff, only milder, a couple weeks ago. I really, really hope this is the last time for awhile. A looooong while. More importantly, I hope no one else in my family gets it. Again. We just barely got the couch cleaned from the last go-round.

More About Money

Well, it looks like the accidental bonus incident will be resolved peacefully. At least I'm hopeful. The HR people didn't seem terribly alarmed. So we'll see. For now the money is still sitting in my account.

My financial advisor has been trying to contact me, though between bad timing and lack of effort we still haven't connected. In an attempt to guess what he might be calling about I checked my investments. One stock that dropped about 50% after we got into it has collapsed even further. The collapse has not been quick, either.

This advisor has not been particularly great at communication. The last time I spoke to him he promised he'd call me soon to get together and review our plan. That was eleven months ago. I like the guy and all, but I think I could do better myself. It may be time to part company.

I Might Have Known

It was specifically called a retention bonus, so as best I can figure I just need to keep working here and keep being...me! Well okay, then!

Evidently that's not true. I need to keep working there and keep being...my brother! He's the one who signed a contract to stay with the company, but they got confused and gave me his money.

Interesting in hindsight that, in spite of having worked with the HR department for over a year, this being an outright error never occurred to me. I was much more willing to believe coporate cluelessness was cause.

Well, since I'm obviously a believer in corporate cluelessness, I'm having a hard time believing this is going to go well for me. Perhaps its time to polish up the resume again.

Gee, Thanks!

My company has given me a fairly impressive retention bonus. Can I just take the money and move on? No, of course not! I must overanalyze!

From what I can tell, this is NOT a general bonus. I've yet to talk to anyone else who's received it. My boss had no idea what I was talking about. I didn't know I was getting it until last week, and I didn't know how much until I got it.

Armed with that little bit of information I can't help but wonder what my company is hoping to accomplish. If it's not a general bonus across the board to everyone that's still with the company then it's not intended to be a "Hey, we made it! Hooray for us!" morale raiser. It's to specific people. But no one took me aside a year ago and told me "Hey, stick with us through the coming changes and there'll be something extra in it for you", so it can't have been an incentive to minimize turnover or retain targeted people.

So someone just dumped a sizable reward in my lap, but danged if I can figure out what I did to deserve it, or why others didn't. So how am I suppose to know what behavior they want continued? It was specifically called a retention bonus, so as best I can figure I just need to keep working here and keep being...me! Well okay, then!

Not to say I'm not very pleased and grateful. I am. It's just...well, I'm an analyst. It's what I do.

You Vomitous Mass

Tomato soup and stomach flu makes for interesting carpet stains. Let's just say our upstairs hallways looks like a crime scene.

I'm dubbing this the "Oh Yeah?!" Flu. You spend a day or two with it, then you think you're feeling better. To which it promptly responds "Oh yeah?!" and slaps you down again. Emma and I are on our second round, Walter's on his third round, at least, and Richard...well, he may have had one round. It's hard to know with him.

So far the only lucky one is Terhi. I'm not sure how she's managed to avoid this stuff, but I hope she continues to avoid it. If she goes down the whole place collapses.

On the up-side, I was able to finish a book I've been reading in fits and starts for about six months. "1776" by David McCullough is a good book if you're into history. It's only problem is that it's mis-titled. It should be titled "1775-1783"--not because the book covers that entire period, but because I wish it did. McCullough is a thorough historian who really gets into the personalities of the key characters. The only fault I can really find with the book is the lack of good maps. I'm a map/visual type of person, and while there were maps, I think they were period maps, and they were very hard to read.

I appreciate the way McCullough doesn't try to make up your mind for you. He presents facts and opinions, but leaves it up to you. He points out several events during that year that were considered "divine providence" at the time, but doesn't seem to take a stand either way himself. The book is certainly about George Washington, and there you can tell what McCullough believes, but he doesn't gloss over his bad points and mistakes, either. In fact, "1776" seems to be [i]about[/i] Washington's mistakes.

At any rate, I find myself wanting to know what happened next. I mean of course I know, but not really. A lot happened between the battles of Trenton and Yorktown. I'd like to fill in my knowledge a little. If anyone knows of a good book or two, feel free to let me know.

In the meanwhile, I'm listening to "Sea of Glory," by Nathaniel Philbrick, about the United States Exploration Expedition of 1836, which is fascinating so far. I was also given as a birthday present the book "Flags of our Fathers," by James Bradley, which traces the lives of the six soldiers in the famous picture of raising the flag on Iwo Jima (recently made into a film by Clint Eastwood). It looks like it will be quite good, too.

So I've got my work cut out for me for awhile.

Well, We're Still Here

A good pity-party, some more sleep, and a few good, long talks later, and the world is looking better. Thanks to a good friend who provided a sufficiently non-judgemental ear at the right time, I think we're back on track. And I watched "Groundhog Day" over the weekend. That is still very much a fun film.

The weather is flirting with Spring. I know it's just setting us up.

Groundhog Day!

It's Groundhog Day...again...

I have no idea what the groundhog did or didn't see, but I know I would very much like to go back to bed for six more weeks. If I had to find a name to put on what I'm feeling right now I'd say it's Depression.

And the movie Groundhog Day sums it up perfectly: "What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?"

That about sums it up for me.

Nobody's Fool

Yesterday my daughter kept going on about this "baby egg" she got from a friend of hers at school. It appeared to me to be nothing more than a very small, green bead. But she insisted it was a baby egg, and that they start out very small and green, but then get bigger and whiter as they grow until they become a full sized egg. Her friend had told her this, and she seemed to believe it.

I was not sure how to handle it. Should I try and shatter her illusion now, or wait until she got concerned because it wasn't growing? I finally settled for saying something like "It probably won't grow unless it stays inside the chicken."

She suddenly got all serious. "Dad, can I tell you a secret? It's not really an egg. My friend and I found it on the playground and she thought it would be fun to pretend."

So there you go. My daughter is smart AND an actress.

Glad They Are There

This weekend I had a close encounter with a profession that no one ever wants to deal with, but when you have to, you're glad they're there: funeral directors.

I don't know if they're all this way, but these gentlemen were fantastic. They were dignified, respectful, and very careful of everything the did and said. At no time did I detect even a hint of insincerity.

Yes, you're putting your departed loved one in these gentlemen's hands, but even moreso you are putting your family in their hands. They recognize that they're not really in the burial business, but rather in the peace business. It's an amazingly noble calling to be willing to wade into the midst of grief and loss and help everyone involved begin their healing process. I could never do it. I don't care enough about other people. And I'd never be able to keep my mouth in check.

I'm also reminded of just how wonderful a family I have. Everyone has stepped up and come together. I won't say "effortlessly" because I'm sure beneath the surface each of us is dealing with emotions and thoughts we'd never want others to see. But each of us, in our own way, is doing what we can. It's not surprising, really. Just comforting, like reaching for the bedroom doorknob in the dark only to find it precisely where you expected it to be.

My father died this weekend, perhaps even while I was in the room. This is one of those significant life events that is held up in literature and movies as a defining moment, a transcendant moment, a grand Truth of life.

How do I feel? I feel nothing--certainly nothing defining, transcendant, or Truth-ful. Is it because I am incapable of feeling? Am I just not connected enough to reality? Is this something simply too immense and powerful to even register without overloading? Or do I on some visceral level simply understand that everything is exactly as it should be?

I can't answer that. Perhaps I never will. Perhaps there is no need.

The Empire Evades Direct Questions

***Spoiler Alert (If you don't know what about, then you're not a regular reader. Try Metamucil)***

Well, it appears my "wait and see" approach to Professor Advisor Vice President President Avril Torrent was the right one to take, since the book never answers the question. It also never answers the question of who killed the president--the first of three, anyway.

In short, it's an "un-book" in that there is no climax. There is no point at which we know if the protagonists are going to win or lose. Not really. Everyone works their butts off for the entire book to save the country only to...not know if they did or not.

It's a lot like life, but it stinks in a novel.

Unless there's a sequel coming.

Is it just me, or did the scene between Avril Torrent and Aldo Vieras (forgive me if I do not spell correctly--I listened to the audio book) stick out like a sore thumb? ONE scene in the entire book where we see Torrent without a protagonist around. The guy only appears in just a few scenes as is. What was the point? What did it really prove? How did it advance the story in any way? One bad guy thinks another guy is a bad guy. So what? Why should we care what his opinion is?

We don't get to see inside Torrent's mind--not really--so no damage done, really. But it just didn't fit the pattern. It's as if DeeNee Breen or Pres. Nielsen suddenly got a scene to themselves.

Of course it could just be me.

Anyway, good book, though he's preaching to the choir. While waiting for the oratorio he had already convinced me with a song.

Is This What We've Becoming?

An interesting "first impressions" from an American Idol newbie.

I've seen a little bit of the show, and I think it's spot on.

Involvement Meter

***"Empire" Spoiler Alert***

It's a sure sign of...something...when I find myself talking to a book. Such is the case with "Empire." These people who have been staying alive from sheer paranoia are suddenly not asking questions anymore, even after one of their own gets taken down by refusing to accept the possibility of someone not being trustworthy. They should be questioning everything they hear from everyone. I keep telling them this, and they do not listen.

When I left off one character was finally starting to ask some questions, and it's about time. It's as if everyone just suddenly forgot that the guy who got killed was getting orders from someone in the White House, and that person is still out there.

I'm going to have to hold off on the "Whose side is Professor Advisor Vice-President Torrent on" question. It's obvious he's on his own side. And while what clues we have all point to his wanting to become the First Emperor of the United States, it's also obvious that he has been carefully crafting the image he wants people to see, so Card's obviously trying to keep that secret in the bag as long as he can. And events are in motion that, depending on the outcome, will reveal one or the other. (My money's on Cole & Company's mission to Washington being a trap, just for the record.)

In regards to Torrent, though, one name from a text common and beloved to both Card and I keeps coming to mind and refuses to go away: Amalickiah.

More "Empire" Reactions

Spoiler Alert!




He killed off the main character! Serves me right. I was just thinking last night that the book was starting to get a little boring and predictable. I also remember thinking that the main character's refusal to distrust people he thinks he knows was going to come back to bite him--but I didn't imagine it would get him killed! He was the guy with the family, for crying out loud! Card isn't supposed to do that to families! But then he has no compunction against "colorful metaphores," so why not?

I didn't see it coming. I should have. Nice one, Card. You turkey.

Changing my vote, though. Professor Torrent is probably a good guy. Unless, of course, Pres. Idaho (gah, what's his name?) is a bad guy (entirely possible). Then all bets are off.

Hee hee! This is fun!

Bits and Pieces

Lady is settling in nicely, though it will take some work to redo the house-training that was undone during the last several years of her living outside. The cats still avoid her, though she is just dying to get acquainted. We're going to try a few things tonight to encourage the situation a little.

I learned over the weekend that the observation tower in Harlanharju, one of the places we visited last time we went to Finland, was destroyed by an arsonist. It's really unfortunate--even moreso since the person has evidently done this before at another site. It was quite a magnificent view from up there. It was a historical structure, so obviously something like that can't truly be replaced, but I hope they try.

We bought a DVR last week, and I'm slowly getting more and more used to how to run the thing. Soon we'll be able to bore our family with DVDs of our home videos! The kids enjoy the "reverse" function. Not that I do at all, of course. I certainly wasn't one of those who thought a substitute teacher was really cool if they'd run the movies backward in class. No, not me.

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. It's an official company holiday where I work. However, they also give us a lump sum of paid time off per year, which holidays are deducted from, so I'm not observing it. If I'm going to have to pay for my day off I'm going to save it for a more amenable month. I've got a playhouse to build in a few months, after all.

So sorry, Dr. King. Next time pick a better month for your holiday. Call me un-PC if you like.

I've been listening to O. S. Card's new book, "Empire" lately. It'll be interesting to see where it all winds up, but so far it's at least entertaining. I'm still waiting to see where the conspiratorial historian comes back into the book. He supposedly recruited our hero in the second chapter, but hasn't been seen since. Is he good or evil? At this point I'm betting "evil." And with that statement I can hear my brother and sister who've already finished the book smirking.

Smirk on, siblings!

New Arrival

Lady came to live with us today. Here's a picture:

Cats and Dogs...Sleeping Together...!

It would appear that we are about to become a dog household. Terhi has been teaching ballet for the past semester at a private studio in someone's house. Each week she and the kids notice the people's dog chained up in the yard and feel sorry for it. I think the owner has noticed their attention--and her own family's lack of attention--and decided to offer the dog to us. We're going to accept and see how our cats deal with it.

Just another step in our evil plan to make sure my allergy-ridden family never visits us again.

In other news, I took the Christmas lights down tonight. The wind was blowing from the south via the coffee factory. I know I'm a Mormon, and we don't drink coffee, but I don't see anything in the commandments about not sniffing it. Roasted coffee beans provide a mighty fine aroma. Fine enough that I didn't mind crawling around on the roof of the house so much.

Now Where Did He Hear That?!

Overheard from my three-year-old son this morning:

"I'm not a monster. I'm freaking out!"

Oh, De Toilette

The flusher handle thingie on the toilet in the kids' bathroom broke today. Had I know it was such a non-specialized part I could probably have picked one up on the way home from work with all my other errands in the same area as Home Depot. But I didn't, and so I spent half an hour making a special trip so that I could spend five minutes fixing it--and that includes hauling my toolbox up from the garage only to find out it didn't require any tools.

And I am blessed enough to have this be the biggest problem I've faced all day. What a country!

All Right, Back To Work, You Bum!

I've enjoyed being off work for the last week and a half, even if much of the time was spent catching up on the honey-do list. Had a wonderful Christmahannukwanzadanstice--it was even a week before the kids returned to not having anything to do! I've been reviewing and revising the budget, inventorying the food storage, and generally taking charge of a few things that have slipped over the past year.

We spent last night with friends. Every year (except one) we have a couple over to celebrate the wife's birthday. Since they keep agreeing to it each year I can only assume that they enjoy it as much as we do. There's an art to being good guests, and these two seem to have mastered it. Though they're technically my friends, they always do an excellent job of including Terhi and keeping the inside jokes/references to a minimum. We talk (a lot, for us), play games (rediscovered Mille Bornes this time), and consume mass quantities. Great fun!

Today we celebrated by going to the local discount supermarket and buying $160 of food storage items. We would have bought more, but were afraid of breaking the cart. Canned goods get heavy. Then we came home and took down the Christmas tree and all the decorations. I'm amazed at how big our living room feels now.

And tomorrow I go back to work. I'll be officially starting on my new assignment.

2007 is officially under weigh. I'm not as optimistic (or perhaps confident--and with very good cause) as Tiffany, but I think this will be a good year. To quote (the entity known as) David Bowman, "Something is going to happen. Something wonderful."

2006 Predictions Revisited

So, let's see if I'm any more psychic than last year:

1) The 2006 elections will provide no significant gains for either party.
Wrong. Unless you've been living in a cave, the Democrats won majorities in both chambers, and is well on target to squander the good will of the American people.

2) Britney Spears will not get divorced.
Wrong. If you've been living in a cave you'll know that the world ended this year when she announced she's splitting from Mr. Britney Spears.

3) Kevin Federline's album will enjoy mixed sales. He'll still make several million. He lands a contract for TV or a movie in the process. Will still be called "Mr. Britney Spears" by the media.
Jury is still out on this one. But since part of this one hinged on the previous one, I'll count this one as a miss, too.

4) Tom and Kate will not tie the knot.
Boy, I'm batting 1000 here. They did, in case you were in the aforementioned cave.

5) Iraq's new government will perform reasonably well, their army will step up, and U.S. Troop levels will be below 75,000 by the end of the year.
No, yes, no. That's another miss.

6) Saddam Hussein will be convicted and executed--over U.N. protest.
I got one! I really got one!

7) The U.N. will try again to gain control of the Internet.
Probably. I haven't heard, to be honest.

8) Joseph Lieberman will go Independent.
Got another one! Yes he did, and he won.

9) Iran will develop a nuclear weapon. Israel or the U.S. will take military action to keep them from using it.
Not enough information on the former, but definitely not the latter.

10)North Korea's government will collapse. China will send in troops to stabilize the country.
Don't I wish.

11) I will be working for a completely different company.
Technically true. It's the same old company bought by a completely different company, and acting like a new company.

12) I will finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Nope. Still clueless....annnnnnd loving it!

13) Walter will become interested in something entirely different from tractors/trains/cars.
Yes and no. He's very much into "Babe" and "Charlotte's Web." But he still loves anything with an engine.

14) Emma will take to kindergarten like a duck to water.
Not a very difficult prediction, but quite true. She hates inservice and vacation days with a passion.

15) Terhi or I will start a side business.
Kinda true. Terhi is teaching ballet for someone else's studio.

16) There will be a major earthquake (6.0+) within in the U.S.
Unless I was in a cave, no.

17) There will be a foiled terrorist attack at the Torino Olympics.
Nope.

18) At least one major media organization will go out of business.
Not that I know of, though there were several mergers, buy-outs, and restructurings.

That's about 5 or 5.5 out of 18. I am officially less psychic than last year.

....annnnnnnnnd loving it!

Merry Christmas, Unless...

I heard an amusing version of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" the other day in which the singers kept thinking of exceptions, such as "unless you are Jewish," followed by a verse for them wishing them Happy Hannukah, Happy Ramadan, Happy Kwanza, Happy Solstice, etc. The last verse was for atheists: "We wish you a happy....Monday."

Anyway, I probably won't be back blogging for a a few days. I'm off on vacation, and will be quite busy keeping up with the family activities. You all enjoy your...weekend...and may all your....mondays be bright. But if you want to have a Merry Christmas, that's perfectly all right with me.

Ciao!

Making A Historical Case

Orson Scott Card has another (long) essay about the future and the past, comparing the Roman Empire and the United States.

An interesting read.

Return of the Lip-Ferret

My wife has decided that she liked kissing me more before I shaved off the moustache. Since I like my wife kissing me, I am regrowing it. For myself, I was ambivalent about it. I don't think I looked any better or worse.

Emma lost her first tooth last night. It has been loose for the better part of a month, so she was quite excited. Even moreso about the tooth fairy coming. She woke us up at 4:00 am to let us know the tooth fairy came.

My Christmas shopping is done, though I spent three hours in six stores last night getting it done. Ho ho ho.

Mein Lipp-ferret Ist Kaput!

I got impulsive enough this morning to do the job. And my worst fears were realized. No one noticed. I always suspected it was a rather uninspiring thing, but this pretty much confirms it.

Once I called Terhi's attention to it she decided she liked it better the old way. I'll give her a few more days to be sure, but yes, it's probably coming back.

On the other hand, it's given me a little drive to do some other things that I've been putting off, like cleaning my desk at work. Things are slow at the moment, so I've got the time. Who knows what else this may inspire.

Let's Get Ready to Rummmmm-baaaaaaaaall!

Those weren't donut holes.

Beware of the unlabeled treats that show up in the office breakroom during the Christmas season.

Bald Faced Lies

I've been contemplating getting rid of my moustache. But I can't bring myself to do it. I tried this morning. I really did. But as hideous as my moustache is, it's been with me for a long time. It's almost like trying to cut off an earlobe or something. I usually deal with change fairly well. But I guess this is an exception.

Kyoto Accords?

According to this article, Europe isn't exactly leading the way in cutting greenhouse gasses. But it's still okay for them to lecture us.

Grading Made Easy

I'm not in college any more, but this is nonetheless funny:

A Guide to Grading Exams

I think I had this professor...

Little Ado About Nothing

Well, the Christmas season is in full swing around our place. We have the tree up now, and the house is decorated. The kids are increasingly bouncy. And our youngest has learned the phrase "That's mine!" Don't know where he picked that up. He only gets it shouted at him by his older siblings forty times a day.

On the cuter side, he also knows "Christmas lights!" He also knows the "E-I-E-I-O" part of Old McDonald very well. Though sometimes he very clearly changes it to "E-I-I-'elllo!"

We've been passing around various bugs lately. One that seems pretty common is the 24-hour fever. Fortunately its symptoms seem to stop at listlessness and fever, and the next day the kid is back to normal.

Anyway, life continues its march toward Christmas. I'll be taking some time off from work, so I'm eager, to say the least.

Orson Scott Card Speaks!

In an odd juxtaposition of what I thought were separate parts of my life, the Instapundit and Instawife do a podcast interview with Orson Scott Card over his new book, "Empire."

He's as sensible sounding in person as he sounds in his essays. Interesting stuff.

Non-Turkey Day

Had a good Thanksgiving, thank you. We all arose at various times, had breakfasts, etc., then I settled in with the kids to watch the Macy's Parade (otherwise known as NBC plugs and Broadway Musical bits for the first hour before the parade really begins) while Terhi fixed dinner. Walter was a bit under the weather, and before long we realized he was running a fever. Otherwise, though, he was fine.

Dinner was fabulous. Most people know that we're vegetarians, but quite frankly I didn't miss the turkey (okay, I do kinda miss leftover turkey sandwiches, though). Terhi outdid herself this year, with mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots, cauliflower, a wonderful cinnimon-apple-sweet-potato casserole, and stuffing. That's the kicker--it's not Thanksgiving without stuffing, and Terhi nailed it. Who cares about the bird?

I just realized we didn't have any cranberry sauce. Obviously I don't miss it. Does anyone have cranberry sauce for any reason other than tradition? That, and the cool way it sits there, holding its can shape, complete with the ridges around the sides?

Anyway, after the requisite stuffing of the participants, we watched the AKC Dog Show until time to head downtown. One of the local hospitals has a "Parade of Trees" fundraiser every year. This is our second year. There are lots of over-done trees interspersed with a few tasteful trees--all of the so expensive that they don't tell you how much they cost--but it's fun to see what different ideas people come up with.

They also have these performers that come out for about an hour and act out various fairy tails, etc., as if they were giant mechanical dolls. Some of them are quite good. Others not so, but they're fun to watch. We were down there for a couple hours, then headed back home, where we had pie for dinner; Pumpkin and Apple. Oh, so good! We ate slice after diminishing slice until we called it good after a sliver of pumpkin pie 1/2-inch wide.

I still hit the treadmill that evening. Aren't I a good boy?

Emma has been getting out of bed every night the past week to tell us she can't wait for Thanksgiving. She has now officially switched over to Christmas. It's going to be a looooooong month.

Family Food-n-Feud

Thanksgiving Pre-Meal Safety Demonstration

This is great! Glad my family isn't like this.

Japanimaniacs

Last time I visited home my brother loaned me a copy of "Howl's Moving Castle," a feature-length anime movie. I've heard Japanese animation is good, but I wasn't really prepared for this.

There were shots that were downright jaw-droppingly stunning. The attention to detail was masterful. The septh of imagination behind it all was incredible. The plot was a little choppy and hard to follow. There were many more questions than answers. The characters both complex and shallow simultaneously.

But the artwork was...well, artwork. It's as if their pallet included a hue called wonder, and had been on sale that week. There a backgrounds that exceed photographic quality, if that's possible. They manage to be both impressionistic and realistic at the same time. It's the first animated move I'd seen where the backgrounds received more attention and detail and--dare I say it, love--than the characters.

I think that's the difference between Japanime and American mass-market animation these days. When Disney or most any other studio cranks out a feature film everything is wrapped around the action figures. They're ultimately trying to sell toys, so they put all their effort into making the characters marketable.

In this movie, at least, they put their effort into making the characters...part of the world. Disney can't sell a background, so they most of the time don't put any more effort into that than necessary. In "Howl's Moving Castle" you get the feeling that if the characters never existed there would still be more to see and do in this world than you're likely to ever tire of. Hard to explain, perhaps, but nonetheless true.

It's as if the director built the world first, and then found a story to take place in it. You can tell he is in love with the world. Even the war machines and the scenes of destruction are crafted with an unrepentant enthusiasm and love that speaks volumes about not merely accepting the bad and good in life, but that the bad and good ARE life, and continually enhancing one another. Yes, war is a horrible thing, but even the horror and terror are things of beauty.

It's an amazing piece of work. I saw it on a small screen. I think seeing it on a large screen may have made me weep for the sheer, overpowering beauty of it all.

Jean Simmons does a fine bit of vocal acting. She sells her character, and endows it with a sincerity and depth not present in the script. She holds the character/plot aspects of the movie together. It's funny, too, that sexist Japan can create stronger female characters than "enlightened" America. Belle, Jasmine and the "Princess" gang may have Girrrrl Power, but Sophie has more strength and depth and personality in her little finger.

So am I a convert? I don't know. I don't remember if this movie is by the "grand master" my brother tells me about. If it is, I suspect that this movie is an exception rather than a rule. Perhaps more typical feature-length Japanime would disappoint.

But this did not.

Odds and Ends

Well, I didn't get the job I was hoping to get. I'm a little bummed, but recovering quickly. I've been discussing the future with my new boss (Did I mention that the company re-org finally hit my level and I'm being moved to a new team?), and it sounds like he'll be using me the way I like to be used; as an actual analyst/problem-solver rather than a live dictation device. So regardless of my disappointment over the other job, things are looking up.

It's been raining much of this week, so other than when one of my home teachers and his son came over to help me paint for a few hours on election night, I haven't made much progress on the fence. I have to wonder if this is as far as I'm going to get this year.

My take on the elections? I'm optimistic--not that the Democrats are going to improve things, just that people may finally realize that they really don't have any answers of their own besides blame Bush. After two years of them showing no leadership we should have a decent chance of putting a non-liberal in the White House and perhaps shifting power back in congress. That or at least one party reforming themselves to the point where people can feel good about voting for them again.

Oh, who am I fooling? I suspect the bottles of hand sanitizer and de-greaser will be standard issue in all voting booths for a good, long time. To actually feel good about my vote? That's just crazy talk!

Speaking of crazy talk, Terhi and I watched "The Terminal" for our date night last night. Interesting movie, but we agreed that Catherine Zeta Jones' role was completely unnecessary. Don't get me wrong. I'm in favor of the pleasing visage of Catherine Zeta Jones being in a movie for any reason, even gratuitously. But her role did nothing for the movie. She didn't change, she didn't change Viktor (Tom Hanks, who even though he is Tom Hanks, came across as not just Tom Hanks with an accent--that's acting!), and I didn't feel all that sad for her or Viktor when she left. She was there to play the love-interest and nothing more; to make a 90-minute movie a two-hour movie.

Not to say the movie isn't good. It's very good. But Viktor's relationship with every other character in the movie was at least if not more important.

Did I miss it, or did it ever explain why Viktor is such a whiz at carpentry?

Still, a fun movie worthy watching.

Oh, Those Goofy Mechanics

Friday night on the way home from work I noticed wisps of steam coming out from under my hood. I glanced at my temperature gauge. Buried on hot. I wish I had a warning light, instead. I never look at the temperature gauge anymore! It never reads anything but normal!

Anyway, I pulled off the road to let the engine cool down, but I didn't get far before I heard a nasty-sounding whoosh and my car emitted a cloud of steam that would make a locomotive proud. I nursed it the rest of the way into a furniture store parking lot, and called home for a ride.

Later that night I got a friend to take me back over. We put some fluid in the radiator (and saw it immediately start to leak back out again) and he followed me to the mechanic's shop about a mile away. I left the car there (they were closed), vowing to contact them the next morning before we left town to visit my parents.

Fast forward to Monday. We're back in town, and I call the shop first thing in the morning to get the prognosis. It's a cracked radiator, and at least $450 to fix. Fine. Go ahead. I'll work from home.

I get a call a little after noon. They've got the radiator and thermostat replaced, but they need to replace the fluid level sensor. Or, if I can live with the light being on forever, they can skip that. I didn't even know I had a fluid level sensor. If so, it certainly wasn't working after my radiator cracked. I can live without it. They'll get the car cleaned up and it'll be ready for me in an hour.

I show up in an hour and pay the bill. When I get into the car and start it up I don't see any fluid level light. I do see the light for my rear window defogger, so I turn it off. Then I call the mechanic over to show me where the light was. He can't see it, either. I reach over and turn on the defogger. He looks extremely sheepish.

He'd spent an hour and a half trying to fix the fluid sensor (I still don't know if there is one) to get it to turn off, and it wasn't even the fluid indicator. Fortunately I didn't ask them to fix it. And fortunately they didn't bill me for the time they spent messing with it. Fortunately for them. I may still take my cars there, as it's very close to my house.

What Are We Voting On Today?

Orson Scott Card says today is all about one issue: The War On Terror. I'm somewhat inclined to agree. Even if you don't, there is still some interesting information in the article that would hopefully make anyone claiming an open mind think a little.

Can't Put A Finger On IT

The headline: Bus driver fired over flipping off Bush

The reality: Bus driver flips off someone in another car in front of a bus load of kids. The president was amused. The bus company was not. Justifiably so, I'd say. The target of the gesture is irrelevant.

Livin' "La Vida Polka"

So what's new around here these days? Not much. I've received my new assignment at work, which is good news. If nothing else, it means I still have a job. Not everyone got a seat on the bus, so to speak. But beyond that I'm not sure what is going on. I'm still on my current project until someone says I'm not. And I still have not heard one way or another on the job I interviewed for.

Though I did finally receive a rejection notice on a job I applied for back in May.

Last night I took the older two children trick or treating. They had a blast. I had frostbite. My son had the right idea. You can dress warmly and still be a "tractor man."

I also learned that I have a reputation in the neighborhood. One house we went to, after giving candy to the kids, the gentleman looked up to see who the parent was and immediately recognized me. "You're the guy with the fence." Yes indeed. The fence that still only has one coat of paint on it, and unless the weather warms up a bit, is likely to remain in its current state until Spring.

My children, being somewhat unique, had an interesting idea. A few weeks ago they did a craft project with their mother in which they made a slew of Halloween finger puppets. Since they had so many they decided it would be nice to give them out when we went trick or treating. So we did. That was my job. I carried around a box full of finger puppets to hand out.

At once house I wasn't quick enough with an explanation and ended up with a handful of candy in my box. I was finally able to explain what I was doing, so hopefully they don't think I'm the greediest dad ever. And for the record, I gave the candy to the kids.

I did invoke the parental "I froze my extremities so you could get free candy" tax, though. I reckon an hour and a half of sub-freezing weather is worth a "fun size" (as opposed to the "misery size") Kit Kat and Reese's.

Today the local interest group of which I'm the communications chair held a vendor expo and conference. I spent the afternoon running around helping get everything set up and all the little details that no one thought of dealt with. At one point I had to stop and laugh. The whole situation felt like I was living an episode of "The Apprentice."

When the hotel's Business Center's printer began running low on toner while I was printing registration signs I felt like finding a camera for an "aside" moment: "Well, I think the toner running out has pretty much clinched it. It's details like this that make or break a project. Gold Rush is going to kick our butts, and I'm going to the board room. But I'm not taking the cab ride, you hear me. Someone else is going down, not me."

Yes, I do need a life. How did you know?

Surely You Must Be Exploding, Mr. Feynman.

The latest O.S. Card essay, on Intellectual Groupthink is up. It makes me very afraid to send my children to college.

Considering I just recently finished a book by one of the best physicists of our time, who was well known for his willingness to cry foul of groupthink, I can only imagine what he would think of all this. I hope they buried him in a roomy coffin. He'll need the rolling-space.

The Winter Comes In On Little Cat Feet

...Siberian Tiger, that is.

A strong, cold wind hit the valley like a bullet-train this week, and there's a skiff of snow on the foothills. I had really wanted to put this kind of weather off a little longer. I've still got 1/4 of a first coat left to put on the new fence and and entire second coat. Granted, it doesn't take a lot of manual dexterity to paint a fence, but I still prefer being able to feel my fingers.

This weather change seems to have made the children hyper.

Talking Head Appreciation Week

I have a job interview by video conference today. It was quite challenging. The room I was in had the video projected up on a large screen, with the camera at waist level below it. Fortunately I went a little early to make sure the system was set up and working, and get used to the setup.

I noticed right away that if I looked at the screen, which would be where I would see the people who were interviewing me, I'd appear to them like I was staring at the ceiling. The only way to look natural to them was to look straight at the camera--which of course meant I couldn't see them.

The camera was also set up facing a window along a long room, so if I wasn't more aware of these things I would have looked like a secret informant on a news show. I shut the blinds and adjusted the camera so that they'd basically see me from the waist up and taking up most of the picture.

And I talked to the camera. The two interviewers know what I look like, but I only had a peripheral glimpse of them. But since they're helping with the hiring, it only matters that I made a good impression on them. They complimented me on my ability to cope with the setup and felt that it really helped. Hopefully that will score me some points.

I really, really want the job. But more on that another day.

Cats vs. Dogs

Well, this article is pretty clear cut. The cat lights the house on fire. The dog saves the owner, then dies trying to save the aforementioned cat.

Back To Work...Whew!

Vacation is over, and all I've got is three brick planter boxes, an adjusted sprinkler system, and 160 feet of unpainted picket fence to show for it. That, and a much lighter wallet.

Special thanks goes out to:
- Terhi, who pitched in at the right times to keep me from bagging the whole mess
- Clark, the neighbor who helped me move two pallets of bricks
- Dan, my brother who showed up and helped put up 1/4 of my pickets on Saturday, making it possible for me to finish the job before vacation ended.
- Our ward's young men, who have scheduled a service project for this week to come help me paint the new perimeter defences.

It would be much more satisfying if I didn't have about a dozen more projects still waiting for me.

Making Progress

Well, my vacation isn't turning out to be the amazing burst of landscaping I'd hoped it would be, but I'm at least getting somewhere. I got the planterboxes all made, and the ones were removing partially emptied of dirt. The sprinkler guys got far enough today I can probably start on my fence tomorrow (I also had some dead spots the sprinklers aren't hitting, so my sprinkler work is more than just moving a line)

The fence will be the real challenge. I've never worked with concrete before--always preferred the abstract, personally. But an abstract fence just isn't going to cut it. And I'm afraid that three more days won't be enough. The kids are going to be very disappointed if I go back to work next week without at least starting on their playhouse. The pressure is on.

Downright Neighborly

The bricks finally arrived this afternoon. The kids were thrilled watching the Home Depot piggyback forklift in action. I, of course, was not in the least bit interested.

They blocked the sidewalk, which I knew would not go over well with the neighborhood association. Besides, I was just a little nervous leaving nearly $700 worth of brick out in the open in the blind spot along the dark side of the lot. Some thieves have amazing ingenuity and energy, and it would be just my luck to have that kind come along before I could get the time to finish the garden beds.

So this afternoon I started in attempting to move the blocks inside the back yard fence. I estimate they weigh at least 30 lbs each, and there were 112 per pallet. It took me over an hour to unload the first one before dinner time. I ate, rested up, and helped get the kids bathed and to bed before getting a start on the next pallet around 7:15 pm.

I was almost disappointed that thieves hadn't struck while I was eating.

But then the most amazing thing happened. Our neighbor over the back fence was on his way home, saw me working, and stopped to offer to help. I took him up on it. I should mention that we don't know him well. He introduced himself once, and I've seen him at a neighborhood association meeting once or twice. I didn't even remember his name. (It's little consolation he remember mine as Tim.)

He went home and changed quickly and came right over. Between the two of us we knocked out the rest of the two pallets in under an hour. It went faster, it seemed easier, and I enjoyed chatting with him. I'm also a little humbled about what a lousy neighbor I am. I need to work on that.

Like, A Ton Of Bricks

In my continuing saga of hurry-up-and-wait, I went out shopping for materials to make raised beds for our garden area yesterday. I ended up buying three pallets of bricks, to be delivered some time today. We emphasize "some time." Though I've been able to get some work done, this is basically two of my seven vacation days down the drain.

Fall Fencing Fiasco

I'm on vacation. No, really! Just because I have 160 linear feet of fence to build, three or four planter boxes to construct, and a playhouse to design and build in a week and a half doesn't mean I'm not on vacation. And I'm already stuck.

I can't put in the fence because the sprinkler line runs too close to where I want to put it. I thought I had more room, but the one sprinkler I measured a while ago to see if there was enough room just happens to be the only one that is far enough in from the sidewalk. So now we're having the sprinkler guys come and look things over, give us advice and an estimate. They'll come tomorrow.

So now I'm off to buy stone for planter boxes. Whee!

Quiet House

I am alone in the house. It used to be a rare occurance, but now it's become commonplace. I come home before the rest of my family three days a week. My wife has started teaching a ballet class one afternoon a week, and with my daughter in school we've had to sign her up for late afternoon gymnastics classes. And so I have the place to myself. Except for the cats, but they don't count. They take advantage of the quiet to...sleep.

I don't quite know how I feel about this yet. It's somehow easier when I'm the one coming home to them. Half the time the kids don't even look up. But when the come home to me it's like an explosion hits the house as they all try and tell me about their day and get their hugs at once. I'm not sure what the difference is.

But mostly it's just...different.

Startling Children

Our oldest's room is right near the top of the stairs. The other night my wife and I were heading to bed, and she went upstairs just a little before me. As Terhi passed the door to our daughter's room Emma came out, half-asleep, headed for the bathroom. She saw Terhi, but she didn't see me coming up the stairs until I was right behind her.

Suddenly she realized I was there and jumped. Still half asleep, she got all confused and couldn't figure out which way to go, stumbling back and forth in the doorway like a spider suddenly trapped under a drinking glass. It was all Terhi and I could do to not bust up laughing, she looked so fuddled.

The Terrorists Won

Okay, now that it's no longer Thefiveyearanniversaryof9/11, perhaps I have something to say. Everyone is making a big deal over the fact that we're still here, that there hasn't been another major attack, that Al-Qaeda is in retreat, etc. etc. Me? I think the terrorists won. Perhaps the never had to do anything at all, I don't know, but for now I'll blame what I see on them.

You see, the islamists are a very closed-minded group. They are right, and anyone who doesn't agree with them is evil, is the devil's pawn, is worthy of death. Everyone will either agree with them or face persecution, face torture, face death.

And what do we see in America since 9/11? Not one faction, but two. But the message is the same. You will agree with us or we will pull out every nasty trick at our disposal to smear you, to torment you, to drive you down to submission. So we're not lopping off heads--big deal. It's perfectly acceptable for people who supposedly eschew violence, and especially the violence we're instigating abroad, to wish on national television that someone would assassinate the president.

It's perfectly okay to threaten national networks with lawsuits and termination of their license for broadcasting programs that paint a former president in a bad light--even while raising money for their cause by showing a "documentary" showing the current president in a bad light.

What is not okay is trying to see the other side's perspective, let alone *gasp* agree with them (witness for the defense, Joe Lieberman). What is not okay is cooperation for the common good.

We've got some incredibly smart people running this country. If they'd devote even half the genius and energy to working up a real, workable alternative that they devote to spinning webs and lies to snare the other side (not of the war on terror, mind you, of the political fence), we'd have solved most of the major national problems by now. But doing the right thing is no longer as important as being seen opposing something.

What we have is two political parties who mirror each other in their loud screaming that "We are the NOT THEM party!" It's disgusting, it's petty, it's useless, and it's exactly what the terrorists want, even if it's not what they had planned. Why do they need to keep attacking us? Once was enough to get us to turn on ourselves. They don't WANT to attack us any more, lest we might actually wake up and see what is going on!

How many problems did Bush come into office determined to fix that were on the Democrats' list as well? Well, you'd probably have to do some digging, because they'll probably claim they never said any such thing today. But I'll bet there were at least a few. And did they solve them? No. No one was interested in working together to come up with something. They just didn't want the other side to win.

We don't have to mirror the islamists act for bloody act to become like them. And they don't need us to. In fact, they'd much rather see us too "civilized" to sink to their level. They'd rather we get used to fighting our battles on the senate floor and at political rallies. When they do finally hit us again we won't have a clue how to stand up to them. They'll laugh at us when we threaten to go on hunger strikes. They'll throw our clever protest signs in the shredder--followed by the protestor.

And while we seek to understand them and come to terms with our complicity in making them the way they are, they'll kick us in the teeth and show us how Abu Graib was little more than college hazing by comparison to what they can do--and they won't worry about what the does to our psyche or whether or not they might be breeding hatred on the American Street.

All because we stupidly convinced ourselves that the enemy was each other. All because a few more years of power was more important than actually protecting the very people gave them that power. In the end it won't matter who outed Valerie Plame or whether Bush lied about WMD.

When things really hit the fan those who are so cleverly convincing us it does matter will not stick around to admit they were wrong. They've got money and power, and will be able to convince their favorite world dictator to give them safe harbor. They won't lose a wink of sleep about leaving the rest of us to reap the whirlwind of their efforts. They'll convince themselves and everyone else that they had nothing to do with our downfall.

You know what would really make me want to vote for someone--anyone--this Fall? For someone to come forward and say "You know, I think Bush is doing the best he knows how, but we can do better. I'll bet that if I work with him instead of against him I can get him to listen to some of my ideas. Elect me and I'll work with him to see if we can't figure out a better path that still gets the job done. Because two smart people working together can accomplish just about anything."

I'd pay money to be able to vote for such a candidate. No matter which party he was in.

We Remember

Not that many years ago on this day my life was changed forever. Everything I thought I'd known up to that point was suddenly turned upside down. The world just wasn't the same anymore.

That's right, I got married. Not to make light of a terrible national tragedy, but we had 9/11 first. So pardon us if we don't sit in front of the television tonight. We've got better things to do.

Actually, we've already done it. Our regular date night was on Saturday, and that seemed like a better day to do our partying, even if it was eating Pier 49 pizza by candlelight in our downstairs living room and watching a Brit-com on PBS. We also did a lot of talking and reminiscing. It's been a pretty amazing seven years.

I thought my wife was wonderful then. That's nothing compared to now. Everything we've been through together just makes me love her all that much more. We joked a little about how we've changed--and how if just one of us had been the person we are now instead of the people we were then we might not have met. We had very few surface qualities in common even then, and we've both changed a lot in the time since.

Fortunately we've changed together. That's the key, I think. Life is going to change you. Rather than fight it, just make sure you change together. Make sure you're still building shared memories. Make sure you take time to remember all the things you like about each other, and hit the "clear" button on all the irritations from time to time.

I know, seven years doesn't make me any expert on marriage. But I'm pretty sure I'm right on this one. At least it's right for us. And we'll keep right on working at it. We've got to, lest the collapsing twin towers come to symbolize another 9/11 as well.

Still Waiting

We got the results of our older son's blood tests. He has no food allergies, either. So now we need to take him in for a biopsy in two weeks to see what else they can determine. The lack of food allergies means we're back to it maybe being Celiac's disease that hasn't progressed far enough to show up in the blood tests yet. Or it could be lactose intolerance, or some sort of carbohydrate imbalance. They didn't say what it means if this test comes back negative.

I guess that would make him a gaseous anomaly.